HATE OR FORGIVE;

Have you ever tried having a feeling of hatred and after all the days, months, or years that have passed, this hatred has consumed your being?

For so long I’ve hated and I thought that I could never forgive. I just have to forget that the person ever existed in my life. There came a time when I was asked why I hated that person so much. Honestly, I didn’t have an answer. I’m clueless. Maybe I was just used to hating this someone until the hatred grew more and more until I already forgot the reasons behind this feeling. I know this isn’t right but how can you forgive someone who have caused you so much pain?

Some people exist to make your life happy, some exist to make it meaningful, and some exist to teach you lessons.

Maybe this person was meant to teach me lessons which are really hard to learn.

This may still be unclear to me today, but as time continues to help me understand, then maybe all the terrible feelings I have will vanish into thin air. I am hypocrite to hate someone while I’m asking forgiveness from God for the wrong things I’ve done.

Maybe this is the time that I should let go of all the anguish inside of me.

If I don’t start to forgive now, then when will I?

I will not wait until this emotion will win over me and destroy me as a person.

Maybe I’m not yet ready to smile at this person, but I also have no right to hate.

I remember a phrase my dad said, “Even a small hole in a plastic container can drain up all the water inside it.” Just like hatred. Even if you have a slightest hatred in your heart, it will soon consume you without you knowing it, and soon, all the love that you have in your heart will die.

Nothing good will bear out of hatred and nothing bad will happen when you do things with love.

Let’s start small and forgive those who have done wrong things to us.

According to Mother Theresa,
“We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love.”

MiSS TEEN PHILIPPINES 2008

(a blog that was posted in my other sites.. this had been written last JUNE 27, 2008)

MS TEEN PHOTOS ARE IN MY WEBSITE; analoretaandrada.multiply.com / zhannij.multiply.com

thank you MS TEEN PHIL INT’L for that memorable vacation we had.

the memories,
the laughter,
the tears,
the “pose-like-a-pro” day to day scene with the photographers and cameramen,
the lechon feast every meal,
the chaotic scenario in every candidate’s room,
the “OMG” moments,
the whitewater rafting experience with team bisaya,
the parties we have attended,
the VIP treatment in every place we visited,
the 3 to 5 hrs sleep,
the funny moments caught on cameras,
the stiff necks we had when we slept in the BUS,
haha
all of those things,
i will never forget and i will treasure it in my heart.

to all the MS TEEN PHIL INT’L 2008 candidates, i’ll miss you guys so much! take care and GOD BLESS

i would like to say thank you to:
the photographers and cameramen
thank you for capturing precious moments guys.. i’ll never forget all of you and the times we’ve spent together..
Ms Mae Unchuan
thank you Ms, for giving us the privilege to be part of the MS TEEN PHILIPPINES INTERNATIONAL and for being a second mom to us during the caravan.
Ms Joanne
thank you for being our mommy and for giving us advices. thank you also for caring for me when i was sick. i’ll never forget you Ms.
Mr Glenn
thank you sir for all the support during the pageant week and for your patience. thank you also for disciplining all of us because without you we could have never matured.
Mr Jacki Aquino, Paulie, Pablo
thank you for directing the show and for working with us patiently
Mr Joe Phoenix Luna
thank you for giving me the chance to represent Cebu in the national pageant
Mr. Dexter Alazas
for being so patient with us (:P) during the Miss Teen Philippines – Central visayas pageant. we love you.

to all the guys i haven’t mentioned, it doesn’t mean that i have forgotten you. none of you guys, staff and candidate, i shall forget because your names have been carved in my heart.

i wish you the best of everything in life..

(i will further write about MS TEEN PHIL, as of now, this is all that i could say)

I LOVE YOU GUYS. take care and God Bless!

MY BIRTHDAY WISH

I feel like crying and wanting to just stay being 16 but what can I do if God wants me to move on and be 17? (sigh) There have been so many ups and downs, successes and failures, achievements and disappointments in my life but I tell you, I’ve had one hell of a roller coaster ride. God had given me so many blessings. Every time I think about the groups I’m involved with and the activities I’ve had and will have, I think I’ll have a headache. These are just the few:
A.D. Models Homme Et Femme
ABSCBN
The Photo Society
Speakers Academy
Theresian Communicator’s Organization
Activities with Mr. Charlie Garces of Salad Dressing and Belvieu

Aside from those, I am also a Student, a daughter, a sister and a friend. See? It’s just a miracle how God juggles up all of these things. Sometimes I just wish I was superwoman so I could do everything I’m tasked to do.

Now that I’m already 17, I wish that God will make me a better person, someone who is more responsible and humble, someone who can make the right choices and can also learn from mistakes, someone who rejoices in success and graceful in every defeat and most of all, someone who trusts and fears God. I know I can’t be perfect, no one will ever be, what I wish for is just to become somebody better. I wish to help other people and punish those who are guilty. If only God asked me what my birthday wish would be, I would wish for a better world; a world where everyone is smiling and happy. But what I’ve learned from a movie I watched is, “We can’t change the world, sometimes, the world changes us”. However, I still wish to make a difference, I still wish to be THE difference.

Mistakes? quite a lot; Regrets? None at all

Every second that passes by, the more I get closer to death. Yes- death. A word feared by many, but asked by some. Me? I welcome death as gracefully as every person ready for it. I am not ready for it, but I welcome it if it will come my way. In my 16 years of stay here in this wonderful place,
I have known great people,
I have been to so many places,
I have learned how it is to love and how it is to have my heart broken,
I have learned to be angry and to forgive,
I have learned to laugh and to cry,
I have learned to say yes and to say no.
I can say that I have, so far, lived a beautiful life.
That is why, if God permits it, I would love to continue living, to continue learning and to continue experiencing His never ending love. I want to continue to live, but also accept death if it comes. The reason why I would want to continue living is for me to correct the mistakes I have done in the past. I know that I have done so many things that had hurt so many people but as time passed; my enemies have become my friends. If people ask me if I had wrong decisions, I would definitely say “a lot”; but if people would ask me if I had regrets, I would say “No, there is absolutely none”.
It is true that I have done quite a number of wrong things, but I don’t regret all of them. My mistakes have taught me lessons in life. I don’t care if I had made a hundred or even thousands of mistakes, what is more important for me is I have learned from them. I have grown as a better person. I am not someone who is perfect, but I’m also not someone who cries over spilled milk either. What’s past is past, what’s done is already done.

I know that I can never go back and redo things, but I have a choice to correct them.

The three wishes

There was one point in my life when I had been questioned about my 3 wildest dreams. Without any hesitation, I then answered,
1. I want to be an astronaut and see Earth from outer space
2. I want to be President Barack Obama’s personal Adviser (rank 1)
3. I want to be able to publish a world top seller book.
Ah. These dreams are quite amazing for some. I had always dreamt of fulfilling these dreams. As time passed by, my dreams changed. I have realized that there are more important things to consider, more important things to wish for and more important things to pray for. Maybe when I had wanted all of these things, I still wasn’t aware of what I truly wanted. If ever a genie would appear right before me and asks me what my three wishes are, I will tell him:
1. World Peace
2. I would wish for people to know what is right, and have the courage to do what is.
3. Happiness.

For me, I always include in my prayers world peace, though it may sound odd for some, so that the children in our future generation, our children, will not be able to see chaotic events. They will still find the beauty in living. Next thing I wish is for people to know what is right and do what is. People often know what is right and what is not, but they do not have the courage to choose to do what is right. If only people will choose to do what is right, we will live in peace. Lastly, I will wish for happiness. Happiness is just nine-letter word that can be easily said, but the question is, are you really happy? There are various ways where we can find happiness – love life, spirituality, friendship, and etcetera. I want everyone to know the things that make them happy and go for it. Some people would rather choose responsibility over happiness. But, it is important to remember that if you choose the thing that can make you happy, you will never regret about a single thing, but if you choose your responsibility, then you will always find yourself sitting in a corner thinking of the what-ifs.
Wishes, I believe, need not to benefit oneself, it is even better if wishes are to benefit everyone.

To be, or not to be?

Today, January 24, 2008 was a life-changing day for me. Why do I say so? Today, I have been given a chance to join a Leadership Training Seminar at Saint Theresa’s College Study Hall, with Ate Che as our source speaker. There, I have become aware of my strengths, my weakness, my ambitions as well as my goals. In our first activity, we divided a long bond paper into 6 equal parts. In each part of the bond paper, we were instructed to write 6 important things.
1. Name
2. Ambition
3. How I see myself 5 years from now
4. Strengths
5. My weaknesses/ Things to be improved
6. The person I would want to trade myself with, even for a day.

Now I would like to share my answers and explain the reasons behind them thereafter.

1. Ana Loreta Pedroza Andrada
2. To make a difference
3. Pursuing Political Science as my Second Course
4. a. I am responsible
b. I know how to set my priorities
c. I value the lives as well as the rights of the people
5. I sometimes let my emotions overrule my mind in making judgments on certain things.
6. The 44th US President, Barack Obama

• I decided to write my full name including my middle name because this is all about me. There must be another “Ana Loreta Andrada” in the world, but the chances of having “Ana Loreta Pedroza Andrada” is low. Ate Che said that we had to write our names on the first part of the bond paper because everything that we will write after will be all about us. This activity is a self evaluating activity therefore, we must recognize ourselves first.

• My ambition is not a specific one unlike the others. It is too broad, but Ate Che said that write something which you think is possible. I believe so that I have all the potential and capabilities of fulfilling this ambition. I want to make a difference in so many ways. In the first place, I am taking Mass Communication because I am aware of the influence of media to the people. I want to transform the Xenocentric Filipinos into Nationalistic ones. There is always a room for improvement, in our government, in our communities, and in our people, and I, as a woman with this kind of ambition, wishes to be one of those concerned and knowledgeable people who aims to see the Philippines, one day, as one of the first-world countries.

• I see myself pursuing Political Science course 5 years from now because I want to understand the laws that govern us. These laws affect the lives of the Filipino people and I think that it is important for me to understand and know about these things before I would start making a change for the betterment of the country. I will not allow myself to be ignorant of our laws if I dream this big.

• As to my strengths, I know what they are and I know where I stand. Many had a hard time in filling up this part maybe because they see themselves as inferior to others or maybe they just had no self confidence.

• It was not that easy for me to fill up my weakness part. Not because i find myself perfect but because I often translate my weaknesses (those which I know of) into strengths. I had to ponder on what other weaknesses I have that have not yet been improved or have not yet been given attention to.

• I had chosen the 44th U.S. President Barack Obama not because I am greedy of power but because I am fully aware of how he could affect not only the United States of America but the whole world at large. I want to trade place with him even for one day because in that short span of time, I can make big decisions that will make big changes. I would want to be in that position so I could influence a lot of people, be the change, and make a change.

After the Leadership Training Seminar, I realized that everyone has a potential to become leaders. We just need a little push and motivation to awaken that leader within us. I not only had fun but also learning in the games we did.

Ate Che made mention that you do not need to acquire a position to become a leader because you can always be a leader by setting yourself as an example as if someone is following. True enough, I can make a difference without acquiring a position in a certain form of government but the question is; will that difference be enough for me to say that I have truly inspired, motivated, and touched lives? Maybe yes, Maybe no. A leader can do so many things that will benefit the members as well as bring out the best in them.

Despite all the challenges a leader may face, still it’s his motivation and reasons that will keep him doing his job, and also, going beyond what is expected from him.

Now, I only have one goal in my life, and that is to make a difference; to work it, to live it, and to fulfill it.

“To keep you going, always find meaning in what you’re doing”

THE SINULOG FESTIVAL OF CEBU CITY

I heard the sounds of the deafening drums, the loud instructions from people, probably dance masters because they were counting and instructing steps, and the noisy talks from people in the quadrangle of our school. Curios, I glanced at where the noises were coming from. And there, I was dazzled and amazed by the graceful dancers. They were shouting “Pit senyor!” all throughout their dance. My mom walked beside me as she led me to the exit gate. I was on my home at that time. My mom noticed my blank face and so she told me, “they are preparing for the Sinulog Festival this year”.

I couldn’t forget the first time I heard the word “Sinulog”. It was October of 2001, I being a grade 4 student. I couldn’t sleep that night thinking of how I could persuade my teacher to let me join that dance. When morning came, I eagerly waited for my teacher to arrive and by the time she did, I enthusiastically asked her if I could join the dance. Well, to my disappointment, she didn’t allow me. She told me I was too young and I couldn’t keep up with the practices. I realized that I couldn’t say anything anymore to change her mind so I decided to give up. She saw that I was disheartened and so she promised me to let me join as soon as I’m a 5 grader. My heart was too excited to wait another 7 months before June of my grade 5 months will start. But then, I had no option left and so I just hang on to her promise to me.

“WE ARE THE CHAMPION FOR SINULOG SA KABATAAN 2002”, this was the phrase I heard from our choreographer, Jun Oliver Figueroa, after we performed in the Sinulog sa Kabataan. I was greatly overwhelmed by the results. Our hard work and practices, all of them, were recognized and has been given an award by the Sinulog foundation. Since then, I dance in Sinulog Festival every year.

Last year, 2008, was the most memorable year for me. Why? I was the Sinulog Festival Queen! It was such an honor for me to be chosen as the one who will carry the Sr. Santo Nino. I will be the one who will hold the patron saint of Cebu during the entire dance. I, joining in last year’s Sinulog was not a competition for me, instead I considered it as an offering to the holy child. It was my way of saying thank you to God for all the blessings I and my family have received in the past years. Ever since, God has always been good to my family. It is an honor to be part of the Sinulog festival and dance for Sr. Santo Nino and not just be a spectator of this marvelous festival.

I consider this Festival truly as the mother of all festivals since this is the time of the year when Cebuanos, as well as other people from all over the world, gather to witness such a magnificent festivity. The well designed colorful costumes, the amazing choreography, the cooperation showed by the Sinulog casts, the breath taking finale and fireworks display are just parts of the festival. The high light of this event is to showcase the beauty of religion here in the small but industrialized island of Cebu. We have a beautiful and marvelous way of expressing our faith to God and one of its manifestations is the magical Sinulog Festival. Cebu is truly a place of religious and faithful people.

PIT SENYOR! Sinulog Festival is celebrated every third Sunday of January in Cebu City, Philippines. May the Sinulog Festival be as magical and as beautiful in the coming years as it has always been before.

LET GO, LET GOD

Oftentimes,
we go for “what we want” and “what we wish for”, but have asking God
what He wants for us ever occurred to us?Maybe it will be a “yes” for
some, but for most of us, we haven’t tried talking to Him, have we?

When I felt like giving up in life’s challenges, I have finally let go of what I want and let God do His will.

Sometimes questions are answered when we stop asking.

Prayers are granted only if we let go and Let God.

Everyday I go to the Redemptorist’s Church and light candles.

I
am not praying to have the things I desire, but I’m just praying that I
may be able to do WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO. i pray that He may guide the
path I take and He may Grant me the wisdom to know the difference
between what’s Right and what’s Wrong.

I
pray for all the souls in the purgatory that they may also experience
the happiness that is brought by having eternal light. I pray for those
people who are hungry and are homeless that they may find a little joy
in the simplest things they have and somehow thank God for their
blessings. I pray for the health of my family. I pray that the joy I
experience with my family can also be felt by those who are abandoned.
I pray for those who suffer in an incurable sickness that they may
believe that miracles still exist and it only comes true to those who
believe. To those who feel pain, I pray that the wounds may heal faster
and live on to correct the mistakes they’ve done in their yesterdays
and to have hopes for a better tomorrow. I pray for the lonely to
experience happiness and love from someone. To those who greed for
money and power, may they learn to share their blessings, to thank God
for their fortune, and to feel contentment so that they will not be
hungry for things which can’t be brought to the true paradise. To those
who have lost their faith, may they find their way back and rejoice for
they have been lost yet they have been found again.

In every candle I light, I pray that I may also find real happiness so that I can share it with people essential to me.

For every candle I light, I wish for someone else’s happiness.

For every candle, I pray that someone else’s long-time wish might be granted.

I was asked before by someone significant to me,

“Why do people light candles?”

At first I didn’t know what to answer and I began to ask myself also,

“Yes, why?”

Then, I looked up and there I found an answer.

“The
candle will light the darkness they are experiencing. Maybe people
believe that if they light candles, their wishes will be granted and
somehow, the light that glows from the candle gives them hope. Hope
that God hears their prayers and in their doubts, the light lets them
trust that in the midst of darkness, one will find light.”

There is no particular reason why people light candles. It has become a tradition; a way of praying and a gesture of sacrifice.

If
our prayers aren’t granted, maybe it’s not for us or it’s not yet the
right time for us to have it. Let’s wait until He decides.

Let our wishes and secret hopes be granted in His own time and in His own will.

Let’s
develop our faith and make it stronger so that we may not only be a
blessing to the people close to us but let’s all be a gift to everyone
we meet.

I
have done a few wrong doings, or maybe a lot, but I have reconciled and
have forgiven those who have failed me. Life is all about being
imperfect. We commit mistakes, we learn from them, and apply it in the
future; because if God had made our “Todays” perfect, why would He
still create a “Tomorrow?”

Do you know the meaning of your name?

Well, since I was a kid, I was told already what the meaning of my name was.

Ana- derived from my father’s name “Antonio”

Loreta- my mother’s Christian name.

However, before my parents decided to give me that name, they have scanned into a dictionary and looked for the meanings of these two names.

Ana means beauty.

Loreta means victory.

Then I thought that if my name means beauty and victory, then why is it that sometimes I lose. Why is it that the beauty in me isn’t seen by some?

I may not always end up victorious,

Or I may not look beautiful to all,

But inside of me, I believe that there is a reason behind it.

At first I didn’t like writing my full name. I mean, it sounds odd for some so I chose not to. But when I understood how important these two words meant for my parents, then I started writing it in full.

I just thought of how hard it is for them in choosing the right name.

I thought of the hours they spent asking friends about the best name they can think of.

And most of all, I just thought about their dreams and wishes when they decided to give me my name.

I was thinking of writing something dramatic. Something that would touch the hearts of people and make them wonder of what their names mean too.

I hear people complaining about their names.

“hmpf. My name is too common.”

“My name sucks. It sounds so old fashioned”

“I really don’t like my name. If given a chance, I would change it”

I know it never occurred to them to even ask their parents why they gave them such names. For sure, the name has a great value to the parents or to the person who gave it.

The name that is given is the name God wants them to have and it is the name they will present to Him someday when they face Him in heaven.

So no matter how weird or unpleasant your name sounds like, you should be proud of it.

It’s not your name that truly matters, but what people around you remember when they hear it.